Take It Easy

The fast is broken. It's the morning after. Day three was interesting and the most challenging. It reminds me not to put my faith in what's usual. 

I woke with a headache and was feeling hungry. This did not happened the first two days. My immediate thought was a wish for a few more hours of sleep. But there was worship to lead, a meeting, and an unexpected hospital visit. So I got up and had some water. The headache and hunger eased. I thought to myself, "Wow. I thought this was supposed to be the best day. Energy. Clarity, Surging well-being." 

I did my normal morning routine of writing in my morning journal and writing for the blog. I showered and got dressed. I jotted down my final notes for my sermon. And then the lightheadedness hit. A jolt of surprise. 

There was chicken broth at the ready in the fridge. I heated some on the stove and put it in a small travel mug, diluted, and sipped it for the next hour until worship began. I added about a half teaspoon of Celtic salt to my broth and also to my water bottle, and melted some on my tongue. That worked beautifully to ease the lightheadedness. Worship went beautifully, as did the rest of the morning. I was feeling the promised energy, clarity, and surging well-being. I also felt deeply grounded and light at the same time.

I had planned a gentle swim and some time in the steam room but, as the day went on, I was not feeling like that was something I wanted to do. It was an intuition. Rest was calling to me again, so after my work responsibilities I went home. Had some spearmint "tea" with freshly snipped spearmint from the garden and talked with a friend on Zoom. 

As the afternoon wore on, I felt less well. I don't know why I didn't think to lie down and have a nap. Probably because I did not want to mess with my nighttime sleep. I got drawn into a documentary on YouTube about New Haven Pizza. I found myself dreaming up ways I could take a train trip and pizza tour. I even looked at train schedules and narrowed down the three pizza places I'd visit - Pepe's, Sally's, and Modern. They were the three featured in the documentary. It was a strange fasting occupation. 

What I was feeling, I think, was my body coming to the end of the 72-hour water fast. My plan had been to sip on chicken broth to break the fast Sunday evening after 7, and then to have a green smoothie in the morning, a light lunch on Monday, and then dinner. All very common sense. But, the message I was getting was that I wanted food. I am still trying to figure out if that was emotional hunger or nutritional hunger. My plan certainly would have fed my nutritional needs, but I was having none of that plan. Instead, I broke the fast at 7:30 with a light meal: a salad of baby lettuces, a tiny avocado, cut up, a few marinated artichoke hearts I had leftover from earlier in the week, a light vinaigrette, and some shrimp for protein. It was probably a mistake. It sat heavily, and I had a cup of chamomile and lavender tea an hour later to try to settle my stomach. I'm still feeling it this morning. Lesson learned.

The most interesting feeling yesterday was the empty stomach feeling. I think I would have enjoyed the lightness of it more if I'd planned the fast so I was not working on the third day and could rest when needed and attend only to myself. It was an interesting experiment in how I work with expectation vs. presence. I'd like to do it again sometime because I really did enjoy it. I am not sure enjoy is the right word. I don't know if there is a right word to express the way I felt moving through it. Benefit comes to mind.

The Green Wilderness is a daily writing practice that opens a landscape of discovery into my own human experience.

Katherine Cartwright has been blogging since 2012, and each year brings new wonders. She asks big questions of the small things in life.