A friend called this morning and wanted to know if I'd like to go see a show tonight. She suggested we get together early and go out to dinner. The thought of trying to navigate a restaurant while on this program feels like more effort than I want to extend on a day off, so I thought about saying no. After a short conversation, my friend suggested we eat at her place, that I bring my dinner and she'll make hers. This is a good solution and feels do-able.
Minutes before my friend called, I was online searching for someplace I could go for a hot stone massage. The thought of lying on someone's massage table and having them apply hot stones and massage to my body feels like a dream. I'm not looking for the kind of therapeutic experience I get at the chiropractor's office, but rather something luscious and relaxing. Something that involves no pain, and is not trying to fix something.
Something more like a somatic sabbath.
I think I may be hibernating a bit this summer. Taking any free time I can and using it to lavish self-care. I've picked up the book I started about a month ago and forgot. I'm setting aside 10 minutes here and there to read for enjoyment. I realize that I still forget about myself most of the time and schedule in time to remember. To re-member myself. A heads-down-and-onward motion may get us through challenging times, but there needs to be down time as well. Time when the system can reboot and recover from overuse.
I know I need this when I struggle to overcome negativity in my mindset. I rarely notice the signs that it's coming or, if I do, I figure I'll get to myself after I do one more thing that needs attention, when the thing that needs my attention is me.
Still, I rarely feel like I get everything done that needs to get done.
A card in one of my tarot decks, Human Doing, speaks to the voracious appetite of striving and the need to stop, take a step back, and spend some time in being rather than doing. To stop spinning our wheels in the mud and pause. To attend to what is needed to lever the tire out of it's stuck place so that we can start moving again. There's a spiritual dimension to all this. The creative well needs time to rest and replenish itself.
Can I just laugh at myself a little here and admit that what I might need more than anything else is a nap?
The Green Wilderness is a daily writing practice that opens a landscape of discovery into my own human experience.
Katherine Cartwright has been blogging since 2012, and each year brings new wonders. She asks big questions of the small things in life.
Photo: Elizabeth Knappert
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