For This Piece To Fall Into Place

I sometimes think about the ancient figures who spent 40 days in the Wilderness, and how they slept at night. 

Did they sleep at night? When all the nocturnal creatures roamed the land? Or did they sleep in the day, possibly during the hottest part of it? Could they find shelter, whenever they slept?

I suppose I'm thinking about  this because my sleep experience has been strange in the Green Wilderness. Last night I slept a full eight hours and woke only once, but don't feel rested today. I feel like I left part of myself in dreamland. Other nights, I sleep five hours and wake up feeling great. Sometimes I wake three or four times in a night. Some nights the dreams are so vivid, I think I've been up and about in some other dimension instead of sleeping in my bed. 

Someone once said adults need a sleep ritual just like children do. I remember when my kids were little and the ways we'd get ready for sleep. We ate dinner hours before bedtime. Had time for quiet play before a bath. Brushed teeth. Read a story or two while cuddled up together on the bed. Spent some time quietly talking about our day. Said our prayers and wished each other, "sweet dreams." I tucked the children in and sang something softly, kissed them goodnight and told them I loved them. As I think about it now, I see how mindful and present we were to this part of our days.

I wonder if I am still that mindful and present to that part of my day. 

I doubt it. I probably take an extra look at my laptop too close to bedtime. Undoubtedly look at my phone. Some nights, I probably watch something on television that does not rest well as I sleep. I may take worries to bed with me. Or lay down in the dark and call worries to mind.

I've become mindful about other ways I'm nourishing myself. Sleep is part of how we nourish, and likely needs just as much mindful attention. It's taken me ten weeks to get here. For this piece to fall into place.

The Green Wilderness is a daily writing practice that opens a landscape of discovery into my own human experience.

Katherine Cartwright has been blogging since 2012, and each year brings new wonders. She askes big questions of the small things in life.