Not Quite Ready to Let Go of the Guide Wire

Even when we think we know what's going to happen, we are surprised.

Here I am, back at the beginning, eating what I normally eat and noticing what I say to myself. The only difference is that I'm eating very differently these days. I started the morning with a big bowl of fruit. It could be Week 2, but it's not. 

As I listened to today's video last night, I realized that I have changed. 

Whispers during the week told of a week to come during which we can experiment and bring back the foods that we think we might like to bring back. I forecast that I would try all kinds of things, from a vodka tonic with lime to wine to cheese to chocolate to pasta to bread, and maybe even chocolate Haagen Das.

Instead, we heard that today is the first day of the rest our lives, and that this week begins the living into piece of things. Not really the program, not really real life. It's a bridge, a threshold, a transition, guided, companioned, but from now on all the choices are ours. 

Of course, the choice has been ours all along. Some in our cohort have been very liberal with their choices and regularly stepped away from the guide wire. Some, "tried" to stick to the plan, but found at times that they wanted to choose something else. I took the invitation to enjoy robust, good health very seriously and went all in. I did not slip or make choices outside the protocol once. I have been fierce with myself around emotionally-driven choices. I am glad I chose this, by the way. 

I thought to myself, how do I know what I really want if I don't give myself the full experience?

How do I know what freedom really feels like if I'm still in thrall to some of my former choices?

I imagined a week of cautious experimentation. I suppose it can be this if that's what I want but, now that I'm here, I'm not sure I want that. I like the way I feel with the way I am eating, and I am not sure I want to reintroduce things that might upset the good health and weight release I am experiencing. What is the adage? Nothing tastes as good as good health feels.

We were invited to take a piece of paper and create four categories: 

Essential

Optional

Rare/Occasional

Rejected (I don't do that.)

We are invited to begin to put foods into these categories. The first two are pretty straightforward and are organized around the seasonal principles. The final is the core of what this time has been all about. It speaks to identity, self love, self respect, declaration. Some may be very clear about what goes here, others may not. The third gives us a way to work through what remains challenging.

Vegetables, fruit (seasonally), healthy proteins and fats, and water are essential to our good health and vitality. Optional foods don't cause most people challenges. They include things we can have, but maybe not daily, like avocado, red and yellow peppers, tomatoes, sweet potato.  

We might have Rare/Occasional choices from time to time, but they may not be the best choices for us. Things like sprouted grain beads, chocolate, tea and coffee. The items we are not quite ready to reject, but things that can cause issues with our health if we make a habit of them. We might choose them because they are connected to occasions and are probably, more often than not, emotional choices, like a glass of champagne to toast the couple at a wedding. These choices should be the highest quality possible.

At the end of the video, we were invited to call out foods that live below the line from now on. I had a hard time with this. I can't yet see myself putting things like wheat and dairy there, even though clearly they are not good for me. I can't see putting wine there or tea or chocolate. The first time he did the exercise, I froze. 

He gave us another chance. Call out three things, he said, that are below the line for you now. Things you can say, "I don't do that." This time I could. I said, "Soda. Artificial sweeteners. Low-quality processed foods."

It's a start.

The Green Wilderness is a daily writing practice that opens a landscape of discovery into my own human experience.

Katherine Cartwright has been blogging since 2012, and each year brings new wonders. She asks big questions of the small things in life.

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