Friday, June 29, 2018

In Under the Wire

I'm getting ready for some time away.

I cleared the day to clear some space to clear some time to clear my mind. I knew the week was going to be all about the detox. Today I slowly cleared away all the things that are holding me to this place. Final bits of work commitments and setting an away message on the email. The things in my inbox - bills that need to be paid, requests for donations, and writing my rent check. The food in my fridge and the trash in the kitchen bin. Stuff on the floor and the shoes by the door. Some piles in my kitchen. All kinds of things on a check list I made a couple of days ago. And my schedule. I cleared that so I could have some spaciousness to gather my thoughts before I go. 

Yes, gathering was the next task. Gathering up everything that I need to comb through the print proof of my poetry book. That's my priority while I'm away. Gathering together everything that needs to go to the post office. Water for the plants. Gathering together clothes and other necessities for the trip. Gathering my thoughts and intentions. 

It feels like a day that I've been neither home nor away.

A bridge. 

A transition.

Something I hold gently so that I can move into the next thing well.

I work with others to help them move through transition well. I still am often stymied by my own transitions. I often feel like I simply do the best I can do to get from one place to the next. And, regardless of how well I plan, I don't always follow the plan to the letter. Or at all. More than anything else, I like to leave a bit of spaciousness so that I can feel into expansiveness rather than contraction. Anxiety contracts us and transitions bring anxiety. 

It's the unknown. Takes us out of our comfort zone.

I'm thinking about a meme that's become something of a visual mantra for me. On a page, someone drew a large circle and on the inside wrote, "Your Comfort Zone."  In a tiny circle on the other side of the page in the lower corner, a tiny circle. And within, "Where the Magic Happens."

I like to think of that every time I'm challenged to step out of my comfort zone.

I could use a little magic.

I began writing late at night tonight. It's the last thing I need to clear for today, also the last thing I need to gather - thoughts for creating today's writing. I'm getting it in just under the wire. The moon is shining brightly in the sky, just beginning to show the tiniest bit of her waning from fullness.

The sun will rise tomorrow and I'll carry some things out to the car and be on my way. 

The Summer of Self-Love is a daily writing practice birthed on June 1, 2018 as a container to harness three months for thriving. The goal at the end is to host a dinner party. Sounds like and odd Hero's Journey, doesn't it? Most of them usually are.


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