Everything feels weird.
Home does not feel like home. The few little things I brought home from Mom's seem strange and disconnected in my space. Of course, truthfully, things are a mess. I lit out of here very quickly almost three weeks ago, leaving a bit of chaos behind me. There are boxes and bags of recycling that need to go out. My kitchen table is covered with paper and dishtowels and books and mail I need to go through. I haven't unpacked from my trip yet. I did water the plants. They were hanging on for dear life.
I feel strange too. Not quite right in my body. This morning I lost it. Lots of tears. I felt inconsolable and deeply alone.
I went to my dresser, to a box Mom gave me in 2015. It was filled with things she made for me that had messages attached - mother/daughter connection-type messages. The box had held a gift that my daughter gave her grandmother several years before. Mom repurposed it to hold a gift for me.
It makes a beautiful kind of circle.
And I think she made it for just this time.
Creating Space: Three Months of Showing Up for What's Showing Up is a daily writing practice.
Katherine Cartwright has been blogging since 2012. She asks big questions of the small things in life.
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