Road Closed

I've been a little under the weather this week, so it's been quiet with very little going on. And it's got me a little antsy.

I think it might be the pandemic effect. 

I've been in such a state of high alertness and accomplishment that it's hard to settle down, rest, and relax when I need to. It's something I've noticed here and there over the last year or so, and it's something that has been blaring this week as I've had to take time out to rest.

I've been wondering over the last few weeks about patterns and behavior change and whether our patterns and behaviors are who we really are or whether they are simply something that is attached to us. And whether any of that really matters.

All of this has been part of reflecting on some of the changes I've noticed in myself, others, and the world around me since the crisis with Covid began. Do we know when something big happens in the world (or our lives) that leads to substantial change as it is happening, or is it only as we look back and reflect over years that we really see how things have changed. 

It may be some of both.

I'm starting to think we're in a time of re-set. Where we're reflecting on how life was before Covid, and how we might like life to be going forward. 

In computing, reset is defined (by Wikipedia) this way - 

. . . a reset clears any pending errors or events and brings a system to normal condition or an initial state, usually in a controlled manner . . .  

Playing with this a little, let's try this -

. . . a reset clears any pending errors and brings a system to an initial state, usually in a controlled manner . . . 

When I think about this in terms of my life, I see a tremendous opportunity. Certainly, this opportunity exists every day, in every moment, but sometimes it takes a threshold, disruption, something extraordinary to get our attention. I think that's why people think in terms of new days, new weeks, new months, new seasons, new years, life passages, and such, to create new habits, new patterns, self reinvention, spring cleaning, New Year's resolutions.

I'm noticing a little chaos in my life right now. I think that accompanies these thresholds as well. As if most of my mind space is taken up with this kind of noticing, and many of the usual things are not getting my attention. 

I refilled the hot water for a second cup of tea this morning and found it a few hours later, sitting on the counter, tea basket with the tea leaves still in the cup, the tea cold. I poured that into a pot and turned on the stove to reheat it. That was about an hour ago. I just found it. The saucepan is now soaking and I'll scrub it a little later. The kettle is on again, heating the water. Hopefully I'll have that cup of tea I started to make three hours ago in a few minutes. Resetting.

A Hundred Days of Happiness is a daily writing practice that opens a landscape of discovery into my own human experience.

Katherine Cartwright has been blogging since 2012, and each year brings new wonders. She asks big questions of the small things in life.