It's a strange feeling, but I get the feeling that I am inhabiting the wrong life. Sometimes things cue us that it's time to make radical changes. I try not to be too radical with anything, but I'm getting more and more indicators that what life is requiring of me is to uplevel my radical transformation.
This is just a little humorous because I think I've made enough radical transformations in the last seven years to last me a lifetime. But sometimes life requires more, and sends us little clues that become bigger clues and even bigger clues until we get the message.
It could be that I've been trying to manage things rather than really embracing the changes I'm being called to make. Tomorrow when I have some time I'm going to sit down and write out all the nudges I've been ignoring. I got a big one today.
I've been on hold for five weeks from my publisher. We're in the print proof stage of the process. The end is so near I can feel its breath on my neck. I've left emails, phone messages. Finally I happened across their Facebook page and sent them a message there. I did that late last night. It was a bit of serendipity that I noticed the page.
A little background. It's a good company. A solid, local publisher with offices less than an hour drive away so I can have face-to-face meetings. With this being my first book, being able to do that has been important to me. My good, solid local publisher has just been bought by a larger publishing group from California. Apparently, publishing is a growing enterprise again. The person I've been working with for the last year left the company at the end of May. I found out when I tried to reach him at the beginning of July.
This afternoon I finally got a message from them via Facebook. I'm not in their system, she said. Email me, she said. I'm new to the company, she said. But I'll try to help you with your problem, she said.
It's like you vanished, my mother said.
Yikes. Vanished.
It's a good thing I have copies of all my digital proofs.
I have no doubt this situation will be attended to. Resolved well. And perhaps even expedited. I told my mother today that I'm looking at this as a learning opportunity. Learning opportunity? she said. Sounds like bad luck to me.
Maybe it was. Or maybe it is something else. Maybe it's a wake up call to stop going with the flow so much and to be more proactive with things. To make myself and the things I'm committed to my top priority.
When I think about everything I give to others and the small portion of my attention I save for myself, I confess I have to rethink how I'm doing things. I work in the world of supporting others in their transformations. I tend to see their potential more than they do. And I spend way too much time sometimes trying to help them to see what is possible for them and who they already are, if they would only step into their lives powerfully. I see the same thing with the individuals I work with, with the groups, and with organizations.
I have a gift for seeing. And for helping others to be able to see.
The problem can be that it is hard for those who can't yet see to make the changes that would enable them to see more clearly. The changes that support their vision. I wrote about this once a few years ago. And I'm back here again. And being back here again, perhaps there is something new for me to learn or an old lesson I need to practice more diligently.
Or something I need to see.
The Summer of Self-Love is a daily writing practice created to harness three months for thriving. The goal at the end is to host a dinner party. Sounds like an odd Hero's Journey, doesn't it? Most of them usually are.
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