That's the promise I made to myself. To show up every single day and write for 100 days this summer. I broke that promise in order to keep a bigger promise to myself.
A couple of days ago I set out on a 36 hour vacation. I know. I know. Thirty-six hours sounds almost laughable, but it really was the best thing I could have done for myself. I'd been overworking and unable to disconnect even on my days off. I was feeling scattered and unable to focus. I was on overload. This was my promise to myself for that 36 hours -- absolutely no work. That meant no emails, no text messages, no phone calls, no reading for work, no checking work-related websites or web groups. No summer writing projects. No thinking about classes and workshops I have coming up. No thinking about my book or what's next with that. I did not take my laptop with me. I didn't take my Raydem mini blue tooth keyboard. I rested my one finger that sometimes types my blog posts on my cell phone.
I didn't just promise myself there would be things I would not do. I made a few other promises to myself. Of things I would do. Like discovering what might be fun about my destination. Seeing the drive to my destination as a threshold between one way of being and another. Taking the beach read I've been trying to get into all summer and diving into that. Taking myself out on a few dates. Sinking into lots of baths and pampering myself. Putting myself to bed early and getting a good night's sleep. Walking a lot and being outdoors. Scheduling a spa day if I could find a good deal. (I did.)
The first promise might have been difficult. My destination was not my first choice, so I had to adjust my attitude. I'd really been looking forward to a different kind of experience and I didn't think it would be my kind of place, but for many reasons it's the one I settled on. I allowed myself simply to be there and to enjoy what was. And I had a ball. I did everything I promised myself I'd do. Mainly I slowed down and disconnected from work overload. That felt great.
Still, the two days of not writing and publishing sat in my craw. What do we do when we've made a promise to ourselves, but circumstances require us to pivot and reorient ourselves, let go of that promise and make a new one?
Sometimes in order to show up for ourselves, we need to show up differently than we'd first expected to.
The Great Summer Writing Retreat begins again. One hundred days of writing unedited ideas and following a prompt to its sometimes illogical conclusion. And showing up. Every. Single. Day.
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