To Be or Not To Be?

The question looms large as I reflected while writing in my morning journal on what felt, just for a moment, like the most unsettling aspect of a vacation like this. Do we buy our lives with accomplishment? Or is there such a thing as the grace simply to live, to draw breath? To experience an unstructured day without this becoming yet another goal?

We set aside the day to be completely unstructured, to stroll through town, wandering in a sense, and stopping whenever something seemed interesting to us. We explored shops, curiousities, and the food scene. We happened upon the most flavorful scoop of strawberry ice cream on a sugar cone I've ever had. It tasted like a burst of summer, here, as the weather teases the threshold to fall. 

And then there was the lobster. 

It was a complete surprise. We'd planned to stay in last night and prepare the duck breast that Charlie brought from Philly for such a night as that. But a serendipitous gift from my brother and his recommendation of a favorite restaurant had us (or me, anyway) dolling up for a beautiful dinner out on the water. I wore the coral top I'd bought earlier in the day, marked down to half price as the shop clears its summer stock. My tan from summer lingers still; the evening was breezy on the water; people in shorts strolled down the streel. It could have been summer, but for the date on the calendar.

Charlie had a Corona. I had a glass of Malbec. We shared four Wellfleet oysters, a cup of chowder, and a lobster. The last time I had lobster I was 24 and it was a bad lobster. I couldn't even look at another for almost forty years. Forty seems to be the magic number these days.

Light from the nearby pier danced on the water. Nearby conversations were soft. Moments streched into an evening. 

Fall-ing in Love: 40 Days of Noticing is a daily writing practice that opens a landscape of discovery into my own human experience.

Katherine Cartwright has been blogging since 2012, and each year brings new wonders. She asks big questions of the small things in life.