New Moon Woman

I spent the day today relaxing into possibilities for the new year. Thinking about the year that has been and about what I might like the new year to feel like. What might be ways to shape my life so that I can feel the way I'd like to feel and do the things I'd like to do.

It was an amazing day. It's always an amazing day when I do this annual practice. 

It begins with a little angst, as I am sure that I've completely wasted the year and not accomplished a thing.

Until I do a quick inventory. I usually find that I've had a pretty amazing year and that I really love my life. Even the challenges, failures, relationship disappointments, and lost opportunities, which so so often seem to dominate my thoughts, pale when compared to the long list of accomplishments and good things I remember without even having to look at my calendar or diary. 

And knowing that there is so much more.

I think about what I loved about the year, what was hard, what I learned, what I can distill as pure essence. 

This year the essence goes something like this - 2018 was a deep dive into the YUK I had to let go of, and I did a lot of releasing. It was a time of discovery and wonder. I held my book in my hand.

That had been my intention. To hold my book in my hand. And, wow. What a lesson that has been about intention setting. I got exactly what I asked for. This year, I'm going to refine that intention to include getting my book out into the world. As it is, I've got exactly one copy, a print proof with several problems. The project is stalled because of a merger. 

Of the rest of the day, I'll say only that I'm still digesting. 

I'll let it percolate for awhile. And while it does, I discover that once again I am drawn to what living my best life might look like and stepping into that for the last three weeks of the year. To engage once again my low risk, high yield experiment.

I leave the experience of a day immersed in review and possibility feeling like I cultivated energy that has been lying dormant and reinvigorated myself around living well. I feel like I've thrown off the chains and that I am light again. 

A new moon woman. Truly.

Beauty in the Night: Meditations in the Dark Time of the Year. I don't know if this will be a series, but if there is one in me, this is what I am drawn to thinking about and writing about.