Kicking and Screaming into the Dark Night of the Soul

Sometimes life sends you lessons you can't ignore.

Or if you do ignore them, they intensify until they bring you to your knees. 

That's my world these days. I'd like to say I've learned the lessons well, but I'm spending a lot of time on my knees lately.

Life wants me to stand up for myself. I just want things to be harmonious.

But there is no harmony where there is discord. No harmony where there is contention. No harmony where there is disproportion.

Conflict makes me cringe. It swallows my joy and my lightness.

Drags me kicking and screaming into the dark night of the soul, where I find my courage and strength and clarity.



The kind of clarity that allows my anxiety to lessen and my deep, inner calm to reassert itself. 

It likes to run and hide when I'm on my knees.

Beauty in the Night: Meditations in the Dark Time of the Year. I don't know if this will be a series, but if there is one in me, this is what I am drawn to thinking about and writing about these days.

Photo: 2014 Katherine Cartwright