I've been thinking about it for awhile. When it would be a good time to write again.
I wanted to take a break after the Summer of Self-Love to think about what might be different about me after 92 blog posts, a season of writing daily, after giving myself what I love most - time to write.
And the writer's life that comes with it.
I remember feeling a bit strange on September 1. The first day after the Summer of Self-Love was over.
There's more to share about all that, but for now I'll just leave it here.
Because we've come to today.
It's the first day of Venus retrograde.
Every 18 months, the planet Venus moves into the beams of the sun and is not visible in either the evening sky or the morning sky. Her orbit takes her so close to the sun that her presence is diminished by the only thing that can do that.
Our star.
She's so bright in the sky that she is called the Evening Star. Or the Morning Star. Ancient people looked to her for a reliable sign of light in the darkness. The moon, after all, has a cycle that frequently takes her in and out of the night sky. The ancients also had stories inspired by her movements. Stories like those of Inanna, Queen of Heaven, and her descent and return to and from the Underworld.
The Wilderness Journey, so often told in the Bible, is another cycle of stories thought to be inspired by Venus' movements. Those who went into the wilderness had a descent and return of their own. They often went looking for God, and they returned refined and renewed, ready to step into their power and into the next part of their journey.
I'm touching on several things into which I hope to go more deeply as the approximately 40 days of Venus retrograde continues. Over the last month she has descended toward the horizon and today she is below it and out of sight, in the beams of the sun. She'll be there as she transits the sun and moves beyond the beams on the other side, rising as the Morning Star.
In June 2012, as I watched a NASA live stream of her crossing in front of the sun, I wrote this poem, inspired by her movements.
There Was a Dream
I woke up feeling rather angry with the church. There was a dream. I was running away as I ran toward something. It ended with the restoration of a relationship. Yesterday's dream comes again and I am running away while trying to get somewhere. I stop to play and to be with the innocence of a sweet, wonderful child I love.
And here is something else -- the first pages of a new journal I began the day after Venus went into the Underworld, into the rays of the sun.
Where no one can see
Her transformation
From bright shining light in the night sky
To dark shadow passing before his face
Through searing light and fire
Burning all who look upon him
Except her, brave beautiful wanderer,
She disappears again
To complete her lonely journey
A prophet returns and a poet is born
Come back from death
Come back from the wilds
Come back from the deep chasm
Into which she has leapt
Her fall, a seraph breaks
Fiery, winged spirit
Touches her, just here
And she gets her wings
Exploding Divine Word
Planted in her heart
Pushing their way through the
Matter of experience and
Bursting forth like flame
There's always powerful transformation afoot when a goddess descends into the Underworld and is initiated by what no one else can see. She comes back with a story that brings healing and life. Or sometimes death.
I look around and think of the powerful changes being initiated during these days of feminine underworld journey in our culture. We have no idea what will be born from these times. But we go into the beams to be refined and to allow our brilliance to be revealed, like precious metal being proofed.
Into the Beams is an approximately 40-day wilderness writing journey during the period of the 2018 Venus retrograde. There is no agenda other than to show up and discover the riches buried there.
There Was a Dream (c) 2012 Katherine Cartwright. All rights reserved.
This poem will appear in the collection Claws of Uthurunku, currently in production.
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